WEEK ONE DOWNRUN

Wowz.


OK SOO....basically it feels like it has been a month rather than a week! So a quick update in 10 points would be....

1) I absolutely LOVE all the people here and feel like i've known them for ages...
2) walmart is within like 10 minutes and thats just wildsauce.
3) I STINKING JOGGED (TWICE about a mile) for the first time sense February when my knee cap came out
4) I STINKING DANCED for the first time FOR REAL sense 2007 in Primm Springs when the wallers came and played music!
5) God is teaching me that I truly am His BELOVED...so i should "BE, LOVED" and LIVE IT.
6) Peace has over come me and Im digging out things from childhood that needed exposed to give me freedom, its a blessing.
7) We stayed up worshiping God from 7pm-12/1 in the morning friday night and it blew my mind. Gods so good.
8) We sit down interns and students and just flat out have 3/4 hour convo's about God and life and seeking God in everything!
9) We fed the homeless on thursday night and it blessed my socks off. I have never had such joy. Truly I dont know where i have been or what i have been doing. ITS CRAZY. God just shines through their eyes, and as they ate we had testimonies shared from some studencts and that blessed a lot of them and US!
10) MY MIDDLE NAME MEANS RE-BORN (RENE') And that rocks my world...truly thats whats happening. My world is changing and haha, i dont deservie it, but Im so up for it!


thats the quicky. I want to explain the ZOMBIE guy. while we did the scavanger hunt this past saturday there was a ZOMBIE WALK happening. It pulled my heart to pieces to see these young men, woman and children dressed like the living dead. And really beginning to become animal like as they drooled blood and spewed on walls of stores as they swaggered and limped by. I kept thinking "GOD YOUR LOVE, YOUR LOVE FOR THEM! OH IF THEY KNEW" I wish I had reached out and had courage to speak the love that was on my heart. Oh God give me boldness! I know the boldness is growing! He will give me strength.

Well When I turned 21...

Soo I have come to a decision! I am going to, in an incredibly orderly and rather fantastic way, document this "SAGA" with stratagy. It will have the following order in every post!

A bit of a Narrative: I turned 21. It was lovely! I awoke in Nashville...to a passel of girls busling about in a frenzy to prepare for church. It was an amazing service, the level of pride was swept out from beneath most everyone. Not unlike a rug being swept out from beneath someones feet in a cartoon or something. haha. They danced, they sang, one lady did pastel drawing, it was similar to a cool glass of water after a ten mile bike ride. Glancing to her left I saw Abby, sweet wonderful Abby! she has a bunk next to me and was turning 20 today! So when it came time for the entire church to sing "happy birthday" it was wonderful to share the moment with her! As it was much less awkward! The only thing that lingers on my mind at this time, that causes any kind of fretting and distast, is the fact that my knees are such a hinderence...I want to run...oh I want to run!!! ahh!I need some healing baby! ___the end___


five fast facts: (FO IZZLE)
1) I have a bottom bunk and find that exciting
2) the floors are all cement, and the whole place reminds me of working at above rubies magazine, which is fantastic, and makes me totally feel at home.
3) the girls here are SOOO encourageing, and they are sooo stylish. I mean, i thought i was the only one who loved vests and being barefoot! NOT TRUE WINNY THE POO!
4)When i arrived, it was raining like crazy, meant to be much? (btw for those who are unawares, rain is my THING, looovvee it...yah!)
5)Side hugs, no dating, no in room aloneness, are some of the boy/girl rules, AND I STINKING LOVE IT!

Something funny: My friend Silas from Ohio came to visit, and knew Caleb from Ohio who is an intern, and they both know Danielle who i danced with when i was six. BAZZAR.

A song: "Lavender Love" is the song Abby and I wrote on our birthday. We sat down and decided to write a song and it just came out, its super peaceful and we recorded it. I am sure its just the beginning!!!
A line:::

"Im busting out, Im brakin free, cause your coming in, and your filling me!"


Sounds fantastic doesnt it? haha That my friends, is my first little thingy :D

The NASHSAGA begins...

Nashsaga part one:
1) eat dinner...
2) Pack a strange and wild assortment of clothes in one tiny suitcase...(perferably before i fly out)
3) sew some things, carve some twigs, and love on people who I will miss...
4) go to nashville, be there by eight on september 11th, decide if i should bring violin...or have it shipped...

These are the big things i have to do...not so big really!

Im packing right now, tomorrow night I will be in Nashville! People have asked me if I am nervous...if I am worried...if I am excited...lots of similar re-worded questions...and you know something? im just totally READY. haha! Maybe not in the worldy way of seeing things, or even spiritually or even as ready as I had planned to be. But you know...thats just it, dispite myself and expectations, Im ready for this chapter of my life, I dont know whats going to happen. But I have already been assured that its going to be life changing, and radical, and exactly what Gods prepared me for ever sense the call 2007. soo...BOOOYA! :D haha I am incredibly blessed and thankful for the support on every end I have recieved, blown away by your kindness! I'll do my best to write reports to update the Nashsaga, when I can.

Leah, out.

When Will We?

When will we
What if when you looked in the mirror, you didn’t see flaws, but endless potential.
What if suddenly all the baggage you carried around daily was no longer essential?

If you had the ability to demolish even a flicker of anger before it had a chance to breath in victory over your joy.
What if you could distinguish things that may later bring you pain and avoid them, toss them aside, label them “pointless and coy”

What if when you stepped out from your home, you stood ready to take on whatever would happen that day.
What if confidence surged through your veins and whispered of victory, constantly, without doubt or delay?

What if we didn’t lean on our own understanding to figure out life’s problems? What if we believed in something bigger than we could ever be?
What if, because of this something bigger, we looked outside of ourselves and toward the larger picture and by grace we could finally see?

What if we wanted to see others succeed more than ourselves?
What if a life was more important to invest in, than a vacation to some tropical landscape?

What would the world look like, if strength was abundant, if love was unwavering, if eyes were looking to others to meet needs, if fear had no power over us? Who would we be?

Impossible you say? The truth, the scary and exhilarating truth is, it is possible. It is a waiting reality, sitting in a desolate mystery shrouded world, it needs only to be sought.

The question stands, not can we, but when will we?

Closit Light Reveals Leahs Hidden Corpse(s)

Recently, I have struggled with something that, might seem incredibly silly to you.
I couldnt figure out "how" to Love God...you might< be thinking "whats not to love?"
and I fullheartedly agree with that...however this was deeper than even I acknowledged. my heart was full. But it was too full, of sin and things that needed dealing with, to have room for God. You see...I thought I had in someway failed to love God fully, and I had. But it wasnt through thinking, attempting, caniving, and repositioning that I could in any means "gain" that reciprical love for God. You see...this story...my story...goes much farther back...

Once upon a time, I was six. As a six year old, I was rather innocent and liked especially to go off in my own dream worlds and create imaginary friends. However something happened to me when I was six that though I didnt realize it, would hold me captive for the next 14 years of my life. I was molested. A young man 18/21 molested me, even though it was only once, it damaged how I saw myself. I saw myself as dirty....and that is the name tag that was branded on my heart (by no other means than myself) "dirty" & "ugly". I wanted to forget it happened, so I pushed it aside and dreamed away the reality of the situation. Until I was much older and it seemed as if a dream...hardly real. But it affected me...it perverted my mind. It caused me to commit sin after sin. I was hurting myself, because somehow, though i tried to forget, I was still that filthy girl. That worthless girl. I never admitted my sins committed all up until this point, today. to anyone, until yesterday. I wrote down every disgusting filthy word of it and gave it to my deepest closest friends. I told things, I never thought I could or would tell! I mean, what would people think of me? would they ever be my friend agian? But you know what? They are all supportive of me...they are all going to be there for me and help me fight the sin in my life! Its emberressing and hard to admit my sins. But if you want to know, you can always ask me. Im not afraid anymore. Because I am gaining ground and concuring them now, with my sisters helping me. But the semi conclusion of this is to say, I now realize that I have been forgiven, that God never wanted me to hold that false brand of "dirty and ugly" on my heart! He already branded me, he branded me "beautiful"!! and that is who I am, that is what he created me to be! The shame of sin just makes you feel disgusting, it makes you want nothing but to forget it, so that it "wont do any harm" if its locked in a dark closet, its gone right? wrong. It will always scratch at the door, it will be found out. But we dont have to wait for someone to open the door, we can pull the sin out and have it locked away for good. Its the hardest thing to speak about it though. But once you do, wow. I could fly :)

Turn the light on in you closet!!! kill everything thats trying to kill you, by covering you in shame, suffocating you!!!!! Find people you can talk to!!! Get it out!!! Take it from someone who is finally being set free, its well worth the hard parts, to get to the good. Talk to me anytime, I am fully ready to share my testimony, all the nitty gritty too if you want. Because I am not allowing sin to rule me, to push me into the dark, or hold back any good thing God wants to do in and through my life!!!!

I AM FREE.

Lethal Haven

This is something that has been throwing me off balance and making me delve deeper for the past month and a half or so….lethal havens. In the terms Im using, the haven isn't a good thing, as a haven should be. Havens in the way Im representing them here, are places that pull you away from places you should be. Focus tends to slip away from Heaven…and God…and into Havens and Sin. Its that magnetic pull that gets strongest when it sees your hold on faith slip even the slightest bit. There are many many many havens…I tried to crawl away from this whole revelation in sheer shame. I have so many havens…

Some havens are self perfection, althletics, sleep, computers, games, music, gossip, friends, food, movies, television, over working, sports, underworking, bitterness, anger. Some of these things don't seem to fit under "haven" however, a haven can be many things…It may not seem relaxing and comforting, but it IS where you may go to get away from life. You may go into a bitter mood, or an angry one…see its all over the place. A haven is a place or thing that you use as you relaxing or gratifying resource. Differences between going to havens and looking toward heaven, aka God are pretty stark in contrast.

Havens, seen as a place of instant-rest generally

Heaven, is the place of TRUE ultimate never ending rest

Havens distract you from day to day stresses, so you can ignore them and forget about them

Heaven motivates you to face these stresses and not just push them to the side, but resolve them

Havens slow you down and urge you to relax a bit longer

Heaven is urgent, it prompts you to continue steadily as time is short

Havens degrade you and those around you, because your going to your haven to ignore everything but what you want to make you happy. So you could care less about others.

Heaven pulls you closer to others for support, as your concern isn't so much about yourself but them

Havens encourage nothingness…boredom…because its easiest to be completely lazy

Heaven urges you to strive continually, not allowing yourself to look at things the same way, rather than seeing nothing to do, you see what you can do…

In short…Havens are easy to lean on to get too. Heaven…not so easy. But the more time you spend running to the shelter of human made havens, the more you'll find they cant satisfy, no matter how you switch it up, no combination of havens will bring you that fulfillment your looking for! Even when you notice a haven that has somehow become a regular refuge in your life instead of God, getting rid of them is really hard, when you cut down on one haven another will try and sneak in. THIS IS BIG PEOPLE! I know, I am totally a haven hugger! Haha. I mean it though, I am a pro at finding havens and pretending they aren't. The biggest danger, is that God loses his strength in your life. When you look away from the main focus, God, the upmost reason for living…then you get swept off into haven after haven, a huge maze just waiting to swallow you up. Look at these verses,

1 Corinthians 11:27-32,Hebrews 12:1-13. They sum/explain everything perfectly. How do you overcome these "havens?", well as Hebrews 12:1 says, you already have a cloud of witnesses, people that can help you, accountability partners, people that can help you stand to your choice to get untangled from sin and set on running the raced marked out for you!!!! Instead of taking the detours. I'm pretty much thrilled about this whole thing Gods been telling me, I'm not going to lie…Gods got a huge delicious plan, I can almost taste it…hehe. I love you all….tell me your thoughts/ideas…

GOD! TAKE CONTROL AND BURN THE HAVENS FROM MY LIFE! LET THE FOCUS BE ON YOU AND YOU ALONE! VICTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RESQUE SQUAD

Something I learned recently, there is a way to drop a patient onto a stretcher while they are standing...it takes four EMT's however....two minimally and it is much harder to do it with two. They simply walk up behind the person, placing a back board directly behind them standing upward, take them under the arm on both sides and grasp the backboard behind them, and two EMT's crouch down and hold the ankles in place as well as the bottom of the backboard and lift up. pretty soon a standing person is laying safely on a stretcher...

Many times the patient doesn't want to go on the stretcher, they refuse, saying nothing is wrong...when they have some obvious grotesque wound that screams otherwise. Its easy to live in denial of our problems/sins...thats when we need our rescue squad...who has your back??? I need my God people, I know who they are or they are being revealed to me...but the importance of them is becoming more and more obvious. We need our people, to lift us off our feet when we are blind and think nothing is wrong.

1 John 1:7
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

If your not sure who your "people" are, think of who you trust!!! Start a prayer chain...find people you trust, three or four, however many, and keep up with praying for them as they keep up praying for you. Be specific in what you pray for, and dont pray tentatively and offhandedly, but pray with faith and confidence that it will be so! Because with your faith, God will answer those prayers, HE IS MIGHTY! So why pray as if He is incapable? WARNING...if you pray with confidence and total faith...prayers WILL be answered...(ask me about my piano ;) )

James 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

YESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did you read that??? ^^^^^ Ok...heres something that just pieced together for me...funny how something you've heard all your life is finally revealed to you! (I had never honestly sought to discover this, thats usually why things dont get revealed for me!) Righteousness is parallel to FAITH.

Genesis 15:6
Abram believed the LORD, and he credited it to him as righteousness.

BELIEVE AND YOU WILL RECEIVE!! How many times I've heard...but now I am beginning to see...

GOD YOU ARE BEYOND DESCRIPTION, CONTINUE! SHOW US THOSE YOU'VE GIVEN US TO BACK BOARD US WHEN WE NEED PULLED TO SAFETY, GIVE US HOPE, BUT LORD OH THAT WE WILL HAVE TOTAL FAITH IN YOU!!! YOU ARE ALL!! TO YOU BE THE GLORY! IN EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-freeeeeeeee child